Bad Dreams
In the end, I woke up with wet and swollen eyes.
29 December 2019
6:57
I had a dream that triggered me in the morning. It started when someone bullied me and saying I was a sl*t, and threw bad words at my face. Everyone surrounded and watched us.
In the other hand, I'm on the floor sobbing. Is was searching for help, a hide place, a defender. Him.
But he was with other girl, hanging out with his friends. It breaks my heart so much when his hands warp around her waist and kissing right in front of my eyes.
The next day, in the library, the bullier came with a piece of paper in his hand. He showed people again claiming I should be bullied by many people cuz I was a sl*t, dirty one, and should be expelled.
I fought the bullier, shouting at his face and shoving him to the ground.
And I saw 'him', with concerned eyes telling me to stop and move on. But I'm down with rage. I couldn't stop. But I felt weak.
Finally when im down on the floor, the bullier starts to grab full my hair. Pulling the roots until I cried in pain, I felt defeated.
He pushed me hard again to the ground, and moreover convincing people to do the same thing. Suddenly I got my power to stand up, trying to balanced myself while anger fills up my body.
I turned him around. There's a knife in my hand. Suddenly, bloods flowing from his neck. I felt scared but also relieved.
Everyone starts screaming and everything my eyes see is blurry.
I was in full blackout.
The story continues again with me alone, in front of the vending machine. I saw him with his bunch of friends. And girls. I knew, he was to good for me. But my heart couldn't take it anymore.
With my chocolate bar in my hand, I walked past them... to the building that is being renovated and added more floors.
I feel that he saw me. I know. But I wouldn't care if he stays or chase after me.
I just want to do this my'self'.
The other students were shocked to see me inside the building, maybe of my face that's very tiredly in pain. I ignored them.
I made my way to the lift. Not many people were around the place. I smirked to myself.
"I soon will feel it."
But it brings sadness to me.
The lift opens, one girl and one boy saw me.
I want to choose the highest floor, 15 isn't available, 14 isn't available, 13 isn't available, 12 isn't available, 11 isn't available...10.
I pressed the number. Now, they looked terrified.
The lift was in speed to deliver us to the highest form floor. I saw their hands gripping hard to the handle. My lips formed a smirk.
Ding.
I stepped off, and turned around, waving my hand to them saying the last goodbye.
I think they are more terrified.
It was so bright from the windows, you can see me smiling so 'happy'. I threw my bag to whereever place it landed. I took off 'his' red jacket, removed my sweater so it don't suffocate me more.
Slowly, I walked to the edge, the one where the windows aren't installed yet. The wind almost caught me falling. The adrenaline.
My eyes peek down to see the peaceful place. I smiled to myself.
I once go back and pick up the red jacket. It smelled of the owner. My eyes brimmed with tears. 'I no longer will smell this.'
I hug the cloth tightly to my arms, reminiscing all the memories I had. 'Everything will be gone.'
Finally I let go the jacket to the floor, and made my way to the edge again.
Now, many people are watching me.
"....... please don't do it."
"Stop!!"
"I know you don't want this ......"
"Please come down we'll help you"
"It over now ......, everything will go fine"
I didn't hear this, I'm just hallucinating, again.
My legs tipped from the edge, I feel my body move forward, and I see the sky. I once more, smiled to myself.
Everything
Will
Go
Fine.
That's all for now :)
6:57
I had a dream that triggered me in the morning. It started when someone bullied me and saying I was a sl*t, and threw bad words at my face. Everyone surrounded and watched us.
In the other hand, I'm on the floor sobbing. Is was searching for help, a hide place, a defender. Him.
But he was with other girl, hanging out with his friends. It breaks my heart so much when his hands warp around her waist and kissing right in front of my eyes.
The next day, in the library, the bullier came with a piece of paper in his hand. He showed people again claiming I should be bullied by many people cuz I was a sl*t, dirty one, and should be expelled.
I fought the bullier, shouting at his face and shoving him to the ground.
And I saw 'him', with concerned eyes telling me to stop and move on. But I'm down with rage. I couldn't stop. But I felt weak.
Finally when im down on the floor, the bullier starts to grab full my hair. Pulling the roots until I cried in pain, I felt defeated.
He pushed me hard again to the ground, and moreover convincing people to do the same thing. Suddenly I got my power to stand up, trying to balanced myself while anger fills up my body.
I turned him around. There's a knife in my hand. Suddenly, bloods flowing from his neck. I felt scared but also relieved.
Everyone starts screaming and everything my eyes see is blurry.
I was in full blackout.
The story continues again with me alone, in front of the vending machine. I saw him with his bunch of friends. And girls. I knew, he was to good for me. But my heart couldn't take it anymore.
With my chocolate bar in my hand, I walked past them... to the building that is being renovated and added more floors.
I feel that he saw me. I know. But I wouldn't care if he stays or chase after me.
I just want to do this my'self'.
The other students were shocked to see me inside the building, maybe of my face that's very tiredly in pain. I ignored them.
I made my way to the lift. Not many people were around the place. I smirked to myself.
"I soon will feel it."
But it brings sadness to me.
The lift opens, one girl and one boy saw me.
I want to choose the highest floor, 15 isn't available, 14 isn't available, 13 isn't available, 12 isn't available, 11 isn't available...10.
I pressed the number. Now, they looked terrified.
The lift was in speed to deliver us to the highest form floor. I saw their hands gripping hard to the handle. My lips formed a smirk.
Ding.
I stepped off, and turned around, waving my hand to them saying the last goodbye.
I think they are more terrified.
It was so bright from the windows, you can see me smiling so 'happy'. I threw my bag to whereever place it landed. I took off 'his' red jacket, removed my sweater so it don't suffocate me more.
Slowly, I walked to the edge, the one where the windows aren't installed yet. The wind almost caught me falling. The adrenaline.
My eyes peek down to see the peaceful place. I smiled to myself.
I once go back and pick up the red jacket. It smelled of the owner. My eyes brimmed with tears. 'I no longer will smell this.'
I hug the cloth tightly to my arms, reminiscing all the memories I had. 'Everything will be gone.'
Finally I let go the jacket to the floor, and made my way to the edge again.
Now, many people are watching me.
"....... please don't do it."
"Stop!!"
"I know you don't want this ......"
"Please come down we'll help you"
"It over now ......, everything will go fine"
I didn't hear this, I'm just hallucinating, again.
My legs tipped from the edge, I feel my body move forward, and I see the sky. I once more, smiled to myself.
Everything
Will
Go
That's all for now :)
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